


we can only go forward

by hackercatz (beherrscht)



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akechi Goro Attends Shujin Academy, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Banter, Coming Out, Detective Akechi Goro, Everyone Is Gay, Flirting, Fluff and Humor, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Light-Hearted, M/M, Minor Niijima Makoto/Okumura Haru, Minor Suzui Shiho/Takamaki Ann, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, No P5R spoilers, POV Akechi Goro, Pen Pals, Self-Esteem Issues, Texting, bit pouty loki!detective goro, not shumako friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:08:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25855663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beherrscht/pseuds/hackercatz
Summary: Kurusu Akira gets a girlfriend.Result: Akechi Goro goes through a life crisis.
Relationships: Akechi Goro & Phantom Thieves of Hearts, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 44
Kudos: 550
Collections: Shuake Big Bang 2020





	we can only go forward

**Author's Note:**

> for shuake big bang 2020. worked with Lex (twit: @cosmickatsu) on this surprisingly fluffy piece! 
> 
> hey! a fluff fic from jamie? a 18.5k fluff fic from jamie? you better believe it. 
> 
> idk what to say about this one honestly. just that uh. i have nothing against makoto or shumako myself but the narrative is told through a very jealous goro's point of view and goes to places. goro's emo ass dialogue does not reflect the writer's own opinions. goro stop being so gay

"Akira _has_ to have a girlfriend."

The statement instantly snaps Goro out from his stupor. He's sitting in a hot ramen shop in a middle of summer with two of Kurusu Akira's male friends—Sakamoto and Kitagawa—as a part of their _male bonding experience_. He's never cared for neither of the boys as they lacked the necessary knowledge and charm to ever catch his interest, but they're Akira's friends and Akira had asked for his presence as his best friend. Considering that there is little that Akechi Goro would not do for the sake of Kurusu, not even short of murder, of course Goro agreed to keep his Wednesday nights open to spend time with Akira's eccentric friends, with the assurance that Akira would be there.

Except Akira's _not here right now_. For the first time after they've established boy's only night, Akira is _not here_ and he hasn't even bothered to text Goro of his absence.

"Hm?" Akechi tries to slap on his TV-perfect smile, although he knows the ugly emotions bubbling inside of him has to be leaking through the cracks. It's not his best work face, he knows, but it seems to be more than enough to trick the other two.

It's enough to fool Sakamoto, at the least. "C'mon, man. Six months and he's never missed out on hangin' out with us. Then one day he just forgets that we even _exist_? I haven't been seein' him around, he keeps saying he's busy, textin' me after school that he has to go somewhere... Haven't gone out to eat with him in _ages_."

"Now that you mention it, I have not had his assistance in my artistic outings in weeks," Kitagawa adds thoughtfully, causing Goro to flinch. "How odd. He's always been available once a week before. Have you ever heard from him lately, Akechi? You're his best friend, after all."

"I've been busy with the TV interviews to see him after school," Goro brushes their worries away with a huff, "it's probably nothing, Akira has his own quirks. Remember that one time he chased cats around in Yongen-Jaga for a week and a half trying to find their abuser? His _undercover work_ made him unreachable for days."

Kitagawa and Sakamoto meet each other’s eyes, shrugs, and agrees with him promptly.

"Now that you mention it..."

"I have to say, that is likely."

Then they return to their conversations about... whatever they were talking about before, Akechi hadn't been listening, leaving him in his own silence to be plagued by the truth. That it's _not_. Whatever is eating up Akira's time isn't his usual quirky Mishima errand work, because if that was the case, Goro would have already heard about it in explicit detail. With Sakamoto's passing remark, Goro's trusted prodigy detective brain betrays him by informing him about their dwindling number of texts and how all of their conversation has turned insipid over the last few weeks. The usual _good morning, how are you, doing well, does humanity as a whole piss you off still_ and such.

Goro himself has never had a lover before, has been far too busy with furthering his importance in the world to ever accept any of the girls confessing to him, but he's seen what they've done to friendships. How the two friends promise to each other they'll never be separated, _bros before hoes am I right_ , but eventually drift apart because they don't spend time together anymore. Goro can't accept that, when Akira is his only best friend, confidant and partner in crime.

Not when Akira is the only one Goro can truly bear his heart open to.

Not when Goro is horribly in love withAkira.

Of course, all evidence he has as of this moment is circumstantial, although it's very strong circumstantial evidence—why else would Akira stop spending time with him when Goro is his best friend? A part of him wants to text Akira immediately to demand a confession, but he lets a breath out and calms himself, he doesn't want to embarrass himself in the perchance he's jumping to conclusions. Goro _has_ been extra busy lately with the Kaneshiro case the last week, and had barely been able to text Akira, forget going out for darts and billiards at Penguin Snipers. He had to work overtime the last six days to open this evening up for this meeting.

And Akira isn't even _here_. Akechi didn't spend time brooding over Shujin student victim files with an equally overworked Sae just to eat hypertension-inducing noodles with two of Akira's male friends that he still refers to in his head by their last names. 

A tap against his shoulder causes him to flinch violently. "Hey, Akechi, you not eating the noodles?"

"The amount of sodium in this would make it a health hazard," Goro pushes the bowl away from him with a vague expression of horror—even without the fact that his appetite has been absolutely ruined by Sakamoto's statement, he wouldn't have put those anywhere near his mouth. Once upon a time, Akechi would have devoured anything in fear of starvation, but he's _finally_ escaped the crippling death of poverty through his TV appearances and he thinks he deserves some proper food like nice non-conveyor belt sushi.

"That means there's more for us," Kitagawa nods and goes for Goro's noodles, and he sighs as Sakamoto interjects and they start fighting among themselves.

Frustratingly, he _can't stop thinking_ about what Sakamoto said.

* * *

**_antithesis_ **

**you** : You missed boy's night today.

 **Akira** : Oh sorry. Had some work to finish up

 **you** : I was looking forward to seeing you. We haven't had the chance to see each other lately, after all...

 **Akira** : Really sorry :((

 **Akira** : Makoto caught me and I had to stay over for disciplinary action which meant that I had to get Ms Kawamaki's essay done in 45 minutes on redbull

 **you** : I told you not to procrastinate.

 **Akira** : I can't help myself

 **Akira** : I say I won't but I'm so busy lately I forgot about her essay's existence

 **you** : If you are going to procrastinate, then can't you at least try to follow the rules?

 **Akira** : No

 **Akira** : You would not look at me a second way if I was just some boring student who follows rules

 **you** : I don't want a thug as a friend, either.

 **Akira** : If I get to school a bit late because I was helping out a lost kid and they call me a problematic student I'll stay as a problematic student 

**Akira** : And you love me for it 

**you** : I sadly do. I'll talk to Makoto over this. 

**Akira** : That's my vice student council president!

 **you** : I'm not yours. 

**Akira** : You wish you were 

**_[unsent] you_ ** _: I do you fucking oblivious idiot one day you're gonna send me into cardiac arrest_

**you** : Keep dreaming, Kurusu. 

**Akira** : Oof

 **Akira** : Last Name Zoned 

**Akira** : I thought our friendship was better than this

 **Akira** : Goro :(

 **Akira** : Goro please :((((((((((((((((

 **you** : I'll think about it if you would accompany me to Leblanc tomorrow.

 **Akira** : Oof

 **Akira** : Would but really sorry I have a prior meeting

 **you** : Ah, that's a shame. Perhaps another day.

 **Akira** : Really sorry that I can't even be there when I live there

 **Akira** : Sadly I have social contracts just like you

 **you** : Are you comparing you babysitting two cosplaying kids to my detective work, Kurusu Akira?

 **Akira** : Hey first of all Caroline and Justine are terrifying you take that back

 **you** : More terrifying than the yakuza that I'm chasing in the Kaneshiro case?

 **Akira** : They called pickles bad

 **you** : You are a child.

 **you** : Reminded by little children, I believe it's past your bedtime. Isn't Mona pestering you to sleep?

 **Akira** : Stop making fun of my cat and his creepy tendencies to demand sleep from me

 **Akira** : But it is I am surviving off autocorrect rn

 **Akira** : But before sleeping

 **Akira** : Call me by my first name Goro???

**_[unsent] you_ ** _: If you asked, I would bring you the stars._

**you** : Stop being stupid and go to sleep, Akira.

 **Akira** : Okay :)) sweet dreams my prince

* * *

Goro trots into the familiar cafe, both arms carrying heavy shopping bags containing items from Akihabara. The bells toil melodically behind him as he sets it close gently with the sole of his boots. The familiar scent of coffee and curry instantly brushes the heavy weights off his shoulders.

"Comrade in arms!" Futaba shouts from her usual corner, indicating that he has been detected. Her eyes come alight at the sight of two plastic bags in his hands.

Goro's lips twitch up to a smile despite everything—he could never resist the younger Sakura's particular peppiness. "Morning to you too, Futaba."

Leblanc is the singular blissful constant in Goro's miserably chaotic life, the tranquil sanctuary tucked in the corner of Yongen-Jaga. It's also where he spent a precious portion of his childhood; after the collapse of Isshiki Wakaba's Cognitive Pscience research (in which Goro took part of as one of the test subjects) Sojiro and Wakaba had taken him in once they've learned that he had nowhere to go, offering the new cafe's loft as his home. Up until two years ago he had lived in the cafe's disheveled attic until his income from TV appearances as Shirogane Naoto's successor had become enough to earn him a place of his own—Leblanc, as comfortable as it is, was far too far from Shujin and the police department. Now, it is Akira who lives upstairs in the creaky, dusty space where Goro had grown up in.

Still. After all this time, Leblanc feels like _home_.

"Akira isn't here though," the little gremlin pipes up as she rushes towards his side to try to peek into his bags. He moves them away from her promptly, taking his usual seat on the counter. "Went out saying he had some girl to meet up with."

His heart drops to his stomach, but he swallows and steels himself. "I'm not here for him today, actually. I have business with you."

"Oh, so those bags _are_ for me!" Futaba lunges for them, and this time Goro surrenders without fight and passes them over to her. As she draws the bags open to observe the contents, her eyes turn gradually wider and into saucers. "Oh, let's see what we got here... Cup noodle packets, Matcha Kit-Kats and strawberry Pocky along with... a _Featherman DX Grey Falcon limited edition figure_? How much did you _spend_ for this!?"

He doesn't want to think about his bank account right now, but _nothing_ is more important to him than Akira. "I need a favor," he hisses in a low voice so Sojiro won't be able to overhear.

Futaba completely ignores his sudden volume drop, hollaring, "you have come to the right place, there isn't anything the all-seeing mighty Oracle cannot do. What do you need, flimsy mortal?"

Behind them comes a sigh and then there's the sound of dishes clanking on the counter. "Eat up, troublemakers," he grouses, then pointedly at Goro he remarks, "on the house, don't even _think_ about taking out your wallet here."

"I am _not_ a kid anymore, Sojiro, I really do make enough to pay for my own meal now," Goro tries to argue, only earning a pat on the head for his efforts. "More than you, probably."

His hard argument only earns him a snort and a pat on the head. "You may think you're not a kid, Goro, but you'll always be one to me. If you think you have so much money, go buy yourself another plate of pancakes."

"That was just _one time_ —"

But already Sojiro is walking away and Goro's learned from experience that there's really no arguing with Boss, so instead he petulantly sinks into the chair and shovels the rice into his mouth. Futaba takes the seat next to him, taking a bite of the curry. It tastes absolutely amazing as usual, which only makes him grouchier.

Once they're finished with the respective meals, and Futaba is done with fawning over the new figurine in her collection, she pipes up. "Alright, you're not the icy super cool Detective Prince _here_ , only the embarrassing pancake brother, stop giving me that sardonic look. You need something from me."

Goro crosses his legs and fixes the leather gloves. Making it casual as possible, he clears his throat and carefully asks, "yes. I want access into Akira's outgoing call and text logs for the last two weeks."

Futaba gasps _too_ dramatically at his words. "Woah. Detective, are you telling me to _commit_ _crime?_ I thought you were the future of Tokyo's law enforcement!"

 _Fuck the law_. Goro knows the law, and he sees it for what it actually is: a set of game rules that the rich all have a way to cheat around. "Well. Desperate times call for desperate measures," Goro mutters, "unless you can't do it, Alibaba?"

" _Don't_ insult me," she snipes at him and retrieves her laptop from her backpack, "but you know like, Akira is head over heels for you, right? You could probably ask him for the stars and he'll be back with them by midnight just to text you goodnight. You could, you know, simply ask him for his phone for a sec."

Goro sighs. Telling Futaba too much wouldn't be a good idea, so he brings the most convenient excuse to the table. The best-told lies are wrapped in the truth, after all. "We haven't had time to chat much with Akira's exam coming around and with me handling the Kaneshiro case. I've been worried about him."

A drained exhale returns from Futaba. "Is Akira going on another kitten chasing? I don't think Sojiro can handle any more than Mona."

"I was constantly updated during the the kitten case, so I doubt it's something like that. I believe it may be something _worse_. I just want to make sure he isn't involved in anything illegal. You know his tendency of getting involved in other people's business. That one with the Yakuza, I swear to god..."

After a beat, Futaba nods. "You make a very convincing argument, detective. You have gotten the Oracle on your side," she declares like he wouldn't notice the little side-eye towards the bags. He pointedly pretends he didn't see it and fixes his gaze on her. "To work, then!"

It takes Futaba three minutes to tear apart the carrier's firewall and skim through pages and pages of code like it's written in kiddie furigana—it's moments like these when he realizes just how terrifying Futaba is as a hacker, that she's merely not the Featherman-obsessed irritating younger sister but _the_ _Medjed_ that's terrified the country's cyber crime department for years. He bets if she put her mind to it, even his own jackass father up in his magnificent throne wouldn't be so infallible. Now _that_ wasa thought, Shido Masayoshi brought down to his knees by a crouching sixteen-year-old girl biting into her fifth can of melon soda.

After a bout of furious typing, she smashes her fingers down against the keyboard. "Done," she smirks as she rolls around in her seat, pushing the laptop towards him. Thankfully speed-reading packed texts is the talent Goro has, and Goro flicks through the entire log in a few minutes. As he has thought, Akira had been in contact with a _single person_ throughout these past two weeks, deflecting everyone else's messages with a _sorry, I'm busy because of midterms_. There are countless messages to a single person drowning out the others.

And those messages are to, or from...

" _Niijima_?" Goro shouts vehemently, bursting from his seat in frustration, "he's dating _Niijima Makoto_?"

"Dating?" Futaba scratches her hair in confusion, then narrows her eyes. "Wait, he's _dating_ someone? _That's_ why you wanted me to hack his phone?"

At least that explains why Akira never told him about the relationship—there are very few people Goro feels childish animosity for: one being the SIU Director and the next being Makoto Niijima. His relationship with her is based heavily on contempt; her tendency to conform to authority never sitting well with his own rebellious, challenging nature. Their discord has always been the squeaky wheel in the group's dynamic, made even worse by the fact that Makoto was student council president while Goro is the vice president—which was only possible in the first place because Goro had conceded the position over to her, but that didn't still stop her from flexing the position on him every time she could.

Still, the fact that Akira didn't tell him hurts. Goro believed that he had been Akira's best friend, and he would have been happy for him nonetheless.

(He wouldn't have. He would have been absolutely furious that Akira chose someone that wasn't him, then he would have been doubly furious that he's chosen Makoto, as if he's trying to antagonize him. Yet he would have _tried_ for Akira, and he thinks the thought is what counts.)

"Wait, you _lied_ to me!?" Futaba seethes, throwing one of the kit-kat at him. It bumps off him. "Akechi Goro!"

"Life's unfair like that, Futaba," he sulks as he flicks open yesterday's text to see:

**Makoto** : I cannot believe you got yourself caught by the committee to see me.

 **you** : Less questions asked

 **you** : This way I _have_ to spend time with you

 **Makoto** : Stop that.

 **you** : Makooooo-chan

Goro lets out a shaky breath and clicks the back button, not brave enough to handle whatever lovey-dovey stream they get down to. Instead, he decides to play a video sent by Akira a few hours after.

_It's twilight, the sky painted in a pretty shade of crimson as the two teenagers dance along the music, their steps quick and light as they skillfully navigate between themselves in perfect harmony, clearly both of them practiced in each other's movements. It continues for a straight minute—twirling, jumping, Akira skillfully leading and Niijima begrudgingly following,_

_"You're not such a bad dancer, Makoto," Akira smiles, the reddish light sharpening his charismatic features. Even with the camera, he's the most beautiful person Goro's set his eyes on._

_"You think so?" Makoto laughs, none of her usual gruffness to be seen. "Thank god I could have been saved, it's all thanks to you that I can dance so well."_

Seeing red cloud his vision, he shuts the laptop screen to a close and pushes it away before the rage boils over and makes him do something very stupid like damaging Futaba's setup. _'Makoto caught me and I had to stay over for disciplinary action,'_ Akira had said. The bastard didn't say he got caught _intentionally_.

He's come here to find incriminating information, but he hadn't been so sure he'd find it so easily. He wasn't also sure how much he didn't want to find this.

"Can't believe you, asshole," Futaba bristles behind him, sucking on different soda, "I would have helped you out if you told me the truth, you know. Why do you care so much, anyways?"

Akechi chews on his lips and stares down at the floor. He feels miserable, and he knows it's all showing on his face. He knows his silence speaks louder than words, but he can't continue. He just _can't_.

And the girl in front of him has known him far too long to not know what his quietness means, not to mention she's _sharp_. Futaba's eyes widen as the information sinks into her, then her frustrated expression instantly shifts to amazement and glee. "You like him. Holy moly, Akechi Goro, you have a crush on Akira!"

" _Not so loud!_ " Goro shushes her quickly, immediately scanning the cafe for any guests. Thankfully it's another usual slow day in Leblanc, which means it's just them and Sojiro who's too busy cleaning the dishes and pretending this conversation is not happening.

"I'll stop being upset with you if you drop the deets. Come on, since _when_?"

"I really doubt you were truly upset with me in the first place if you can be won over so easily," Goro scowls, but wordlessly peers at the ceiling where the lamps are flickering incandescently, the vivid light burning white motes into his irises. He's kept all these feelings to himself for _so long_ , with only Ann even knowing about his feelings for Akira because she's managed to infer it out of his behavior. "You can't tell anyone," he hisses to the enthusiastic hacker bouncing on her seat, "this is between us. At _all costs_."

Futaba makes a lip-zipping motion in reply. "My lips are sealed."

"I think I've always had not-so-platonic feelings for him, to be honest," Akira's been his shining beacon of hope, the only upside of his miserable life as he was being tossed between one abusive relatives and miserable foster homes after another his mother's suicide. Their first meeting had been because of a complete accident—Akira had mistyped the recipient's email, accidentally sending a mail to Goro instead of his elementary school teacher, and Goro had replied instead of deleting the unknown mail because he was _so lonely_ —but they've hit it off immediately upon they were both children with barely an age gap, communicating over the internet for years as each other's secret pen pal, telling their correspondent all sorts of secrets and interesting tidbits about their lives. Yet the feeling he held for Kurusu Akira always had been fondness crossing over to platonic affection until Akira had come over to visit Tokyo and _took off his goddamn glasses_. The ashen hues of his best friend's eyes and the intensity they held captivated Goro, and ever since that day, he hasn't been able to take all of Akira's flirtatious banter as mere _banter_. "It just... happened. It only became something real when Akira came over to study in Tokyo, though."

Futaba may be eccentric, but that doesn't equal to tactless. Instead of pushing him for more, she jumps off from her chair and headbutts him with a, "aww, sister hug!"

Goro snorts but doesn't reject her touches, wrapping his own arms around her. After, they settle down in one of the booths available in Leblanc as they furiously discuss spare Featherman theories. The coffee gets cold as they talk.

* * *

**_Antithesis_ **

**Akira** : Daily nightly check in

 **Akira** : How is my favorite Detective Prince doing~

 **you** : I'm the only Detective Prince you know.

 **Akira** : Hey I know Shirogane Naoto too

 **Akira** : Just

 **Akira** : Not personally 

**you** : The answer to your original question: I dealt with Futaba today, which means I'm filled with a mix of exhaustion and strange fluffy feeling.

 **Akira** : Ah yes Futaba Sakura-Isshiki

 **Akira** : Capable of melting even the coldest of detective prince hearts

 **you** : You make me sound like a cursed prince in a fairytale.

 **Akira** : I mean

 **Akira** : It isn't far fetched

 **you** : By the way, I should tell you that I will be attending school tomorrow.

**_[unsent] you_ ** _: This way you can't avoid me._

**Akira** : Really?

 **Akira** : Caught Kaneshiro yet?

 **you** : No, but the police are on a wild goose chase, so.

 **you** : They told me they have no use for me tomorrow.

 **Akira** : Neat

 **Akira** : Well I can't stay in front of the school waiting for you like usual

 **Akira** : But I can bring lunch

 **you** : That will be sufficient.

 **Akira** : Thanks

 **Akira** : It's cool! We get to hang out after so long

 **Akira** : Rooftop munching it shall be

* * *

Despite being a high-schooler, Goro technically doesn't _need_ to attend Shujin regularly. Ever since he's started assisting the Tokyo PD as a freshmen, the school had begrudgingly allowed him to take times off classes as long as he didn't miss important exams. Although he never reached Futaba's level of genius in the field nor her disgust for public education, he's always been a little too perceptive, too intelligent to fit in naturally with his peers, so he's accepted the privilege with a stride, enjoying his time flicking through papers by Sae-san's side and intellectually stimulating himself, catching repugnant men on the way. As his popularity soared as Shirogane Naoto's merciless and brutal successor—the heartless Detective Prince, they call him—the school's attitude had turned more enthusiastic with the publicity he brought. Even after the Kamoshida scandal, despite him being one of the so-called _instigators_ , he's only heard stern words from the Principal (whose body language was _reeking_ fear) and with the promise that he wouldn't leak the fact that the school _knew_ , his detective work continued to count as class time.

Of course, this does not mean that Goro does not attend school at _all_. On days when the police do not require his assistance, his exemption is nullified and no longer without an excuse, his attendance becomes mandatory. Today is one of those days; the Kaneshiro investigation has entered the stage of witness questioning, and as most of said witnesses have ties to or are yakuza, Goro has been brushed away by the police with a _go to school, kid, we'll extract the information here and call you when we need you again_. Even when Goro has vehemently argued that those witnesses knew nothing, they were nothing but middlemen for Kaneshiro to make the money more untraceable, his perfectly valid opinion was disregarded solely because of his age, position and attitude.

Sae said the last one he brought upon himself, but Goro doesn't care much about it. If he sweet-mouthed these people, there would be no _progress_. They brought him on the team to be useful, not to be a lip-servicing liar, and if they can't handle the consequences they can remove him and return to being useless again.

"Why are you _here_?" Niijima glares acrimoniously from her book as she hovers protectively over the main table in the student counsel room, keeping her fair distance from him. "You've already missed so many classes, you could _try_ to give an effort when you're around."

At least his presence is annoying her as much as her presence annoys him. His distaste for her has never been one-sided, with her being as much a stickler for rules as his distaste for society. "I'm still the Vice President here. My homeroom teacher allowed me out of the class to take care of a few matters, no point in me sitting in a social studies class anyways."

Makoto wordlessly takes a seat, no longer content with pacing around with a disapproving look. "Your position here is superficial at most. I've been taking care of everything that'd need to be taken care of here, and _your_ job is to find whoever is terrorizing the students through blackmail here."

"We have a name, but I can't tell you anything yet," actually, nothing is stopping him, it's just that he doesn't want to, "the investigation is in progress, with Sae at the helm. Don't you trust your own sister?"

The younger Niijima twitches at the mention of Sae, and sighs awkwardly afterwards. "I do. I know you're capable despite... everything, and I trust you to find the perpetrator behind these crimes. Along with my sister, you'll find whoever's behind it soon. It's just that I've become so busy lately with the exams creeping up, and doing a personal project on my own that I..."

 _Busy dating my best friend, you mean_. "Akira has been talking about how you've been helping him study for the exams."

"That's one way to say it," Makoto mutters in a low voice that Goro barely hears. "Yes I have. We all owe Akira a little something, and when he came over and asked me to help him study, I couldn't possibly say no. Now, why are you _really_ here?"

 _To spy on you and gather intel_. Goro gives a thin smile. "Why _can't_ I stay over here? Do I specifically need a reason? Aren't I as much a member of the student council as much as you are?" She wouldn't have won the vote if he had been running as president, anyways.

"Experience-wise, you have only _once_ cared about the student council, and that was when Akira was helping me run for president," Niijima points out. "Can you stop pacing around and tell me what is bothering you so I can focus on these papers?"

"Detective work," at least that's all the official excuses for Goro skipping classes.

She narrows her eyes, leaning back. "Fine, _don't_ answer me. I know you hate me, I don't like you either."

Frigid silence envelops the room. He throws her a vicious smile once and brushes past her to properly scan the room. It's boring books and tables and papers, nothing extraordinary until his eyes land on a very familiar cover. Taking few bold steps, he carefully lifts up the tome to show it to Makoto. "Is this...?"

"Oh?" The way the brunette's eyes widen is almost comical. "That must be a book that Akira-kun left."

It's a book on Hegelian rhetoric. A cold feeling emanates from his gut. There's one thing for Akira to start dating Makoto and another for him to bring out this book. Hegel was exclusively _their_ thing, ever since Goro suggested that they're like thesis and antithesis. He had been flirting. He never thought Akira noticed. "From... _studying_?" Goro asks tentatively, feeling sick.

"Yes! One of the English excerpts talked about philosophy, so he wanted to catch up on it," she offers the words awkwardly in a desperate attempt to ward off suspicion, furiously looking elsewhere to avoid his piercing gaze—Niijima has never been good with lying, both sisters; they're both straightforward arrows, honesty being their powerful suits. "Hegel has been the foundation of many modern philosophers, after all. He wanted to catch up on it."

"And you helped him study with it? Fine then, explain the concept of Aufheben to me," Akechi interrogates, eyes narrowing sharply.

"I don't need to prove anything to you," she snaps. Even without his experience as a detective, it's obvious that her posture is defensive—what were they doing with the book? "He just wanted to check out a pages himself, I didn't even look at the page." She's _lying_.

"I swear to god Niijima, if you—" to her saving grace, the bell rings right then, and the sound of students spilling out of their classrooms drown out the rest of Goro's not-very-nice words aimed at the council president.

Without looking at him, she brushes past him to take the exit. "I should be going, next class is calculus and even I can't miss that. Akechi," Niijima calls out, voice perfunctory. "Before you leave for the day. There's someone you need to see. Takuto Maruki, therapist. He's in the nurse's office."

"I'll think about it," he mutters apathetically, his back to the wooden door. The instinct for a bloody fight is right at his fingertips, _pin down the fleeing prey and bite until it spills the information_.

"No, it's mandatory, even for you. he's here because of Kamoshida, and your involvement there has been," a pause, "alarming for the school. Also, if anyone can understand whatever is going on in that head of yours, it'd be Maruki-sensei. He won't judge you and listen to whatever is bugging you that you decided to skip class for no valid reason. And before you open your mouth to say ' _I'll think about it' ,_ that is a not an acceptable answer. It _is_ mandatory and the principal told me to warn you that he will take away your privileges if you skip it for no reason."

Before he can give a scathing reply, she flees from the scene, leaving him all alone to brood in the silence and the odd meeting. As he's deciding his next move, his phone rings.

* * *

**_antithesis_ **

**Akira** : You said you would be at school today??

 **Akira** : Where??? Am at your class but there are only a swamp of fangirls and no Goro ):

 **you** : Thanks to my involvement in the Kamoshida case due to your idiocy, I'm also obligated to see a therapist.

 **you** : Maruki Takuto, I believe?

 **Akira** : Ah

 **Akira** : Maruki-sensei

 **Akira** : Goro be nice to him

 **you** : Why is the warning necessary? Is he alt-right?

 **Akira** : I wouldn't even try in that case because no amount of words would stop you from going at him

 **you** : I am glad you are aware. 

**Akira** : But really

 **Akira** : he's actually a pretty good guy and soft hearted

 **you** : Akira, we talked about this. He's an _adult_. There's no such thing as _good adults_. They're all compliant to the system.

 **Akira** : Yes Goro you're severely misanthropic and considering your past I don't blame you 

**Akira** : Which is why I'm telling you to be nice

**_[unsent] you_ ** _: but it's so hard being nice to people who are not you_

**Akira** : You have a personality and by that I don't mean you have jagged edges I mean that you are literally a walking saw knife

 **Akira** : and Maruki sensei is like soft custard pudding

 **you** : Are you saying you don't like your personality?

 **Akira** : You can be unnecessarily hostile sometimes

 **Akira** : Some people like me have the energy to counter and punch you in the face back

 **Akira** : But you would just cut through Maruki-sensei in half and make him cry

 **you** : No promises. 

**Akira** : Goro no 

**Akira** : AKECHI GORO!!! 

* * *

"You're _late_."

That's what the newcomer hears as he sets the lights alight in the nurse's office. The other one already made himself a seat on one of the sofas scattered on the center, arm and leg both crossed defensively and hawk-like gaze fixed on the one who just passed through the door.

"Uh, uhm, usually, I'm the one waiting here for students to come in," the man clad in the white gown stutters in his steps like a prey caught in a merciless predator's grasp as he closes the door. "I'm Takuto Maruki, the counselor." 

"I'm not just anyone," Goro replies haughtily towards the man's direction. "And I _know_ who you are."

"But do I know you? You're not wearing the Shujin uniform, either..." Maruki cocks his head in confusion, then his eyes shine alight with familiar recognition. " _Oh_ wait, you must be Akechi-kun, the TV detective! The school told me you were busy so you might not be able to come to counselling, but it's good that you could find the time. Sit dow—oh wait, you already have done that, let me take a seat opposite to you then..."

The man's sheer optimism grates against Goro's mood, especially combined with the hellish Akira-less week he's had lately, and he viciously bites out, "yeah, well, I had some time around, and Niijima said I haven't had a choice."

"We always have a choice, and I'm glad yours have led to this room," the therapist replies, completely unbothered by Goro's hostility, only smiling easily and shoving his hands in his pockets to pull out a small bag brightly. "Candy?"

"Sorry, I don't like sweets," he brushes the offering hand away and pops his own mint into the mouth. "So, how do you do this? What am I supposed to do?"

The man offers benevolently. "This time is about _you_ , so we can talk about anything you want to."

"I wouldn't _be_ here if it were up to me," Goro points out, rolling the peppermint drop in his mouth. "This is about the Kamoshida incident, isn't it?"

"That is what led me here, yes." 

A shrug. "I've been involved, but it wasn't as serious as Akira and Sakamoto who managed to almost get themselves _expelled_ while I wasn't looking, and Ann who had to hear about what that son of a bitch was doing to her... _best friend_. My own involvement with the police kept me busy at the time, I only pulled some strings with the help of my prosecutor acquaintance, and threateningly stood behind Akira as he confronted that bastard."

Maruki frowns in reply as he takes out a piece of paper from the yellow folder sitting on the table between them. "It says here that you threatened to have him _murdered_."

He bristles and narrows his eyes. "He was threatening my best friend, and he was using equally vulgar language towards him. He didn't deserve any of my respect, that repulsive piece of trash who only picked at people who he thought were weaker than him. The _worst_ kind of adult there is."

"Still... It would have been terrifying, you're still a minor, and he was at a position of authority."

Goro snorts. " _Kamoshida_ doesn't scare me." Really, Kamoshida is nothing compared to his own bastard of a father whom he has to see once a month out of _obligation_. The same man who's refused to acknowledge his existence for years and had him beg for his lawfully-deserved child support like a dog begging for scraps off a table, only _now_ treating him like a _business partner_ for the sake of publicity. After the colorful threats Shido's given to him, not even the yakuza scares him anymore. "The school couldn't solely side with Kamoshida's case because of the publicity I brought to them through my detective work, and even without that, I've dealt with shitty adults for years now. Kamoshida isn't even in the top ten."

Maruki hesitates, most likely wondering if he should push harder, then sighs in defeat. "I see that you've lived a colorful life."

"I _don't_ want to talk about the past," Akechi insists, he's not opening that can of worms with a man he's only met today. 

"Why are you here, then?" Maruki, opposite of him, crooks his head to the side, observing him behind those glasses carefully. "You're here for some reason, aren't you? You don't seem like the type of person who even _believes_ in therapy, but you've come here to talk to me nonetheless."

He can't help himself from acting petulant just to lash out. "Can't you figure it out with your psychoanalysis mumbo jumbo?"

A laugh. "I'm not a mind reader, Akechi-kun. I'm just someone here to listen to whatever troubles you have. Is it stress from your job?"

"Stress from my job?" Sure, the schedule is overbearing and he receives calls from the superintendent and Sae-san at two A.M. sometimes, but it's all worth it in the very end when another trash criminal gets locked behind bars and is forced to face his own sins. "I'm still a teenager, so it's not much a problem from me health-wise, and even the little exhaustion at the end of the day is worth it."

"That wasn't what I meant." Maruki winces from his seat. "I mean... due to your reputation and your blunt statements in media, a lot of people don't like you, Akechi-kun. With how keen you are, you must hear their comments about you as you walk by. Doesn't that ever _get_ to you?"

"I don't like most people either, so why would I care about their worthless, irrelevant opinion? If I wanted to be loved so much, I'd put up a pretty-boy act—I've been told quite talented at acting; I could simply act to be the teacher's pet. But there would be no point to that, because I became a detective to make a difference in this adult-infested rotten world. There are people on my side," like Akira, Ann, Futaba, Sojiro and Sae, "and they are who _really_ matters." Goro gives a knowing smirk. "The fact that so many people are against me only shows that I am making a difference to society. There's always opposition to change."

"That's—that's one way to look at it," the consultant stutters out, then smiles back leisurely again. Did _nothing_ sway that man's ridiculous positivity and altruism? No wonder Akira liked him. "You seem awfully confident in yourself, that's good to see."

"It's because I have my best friend," Goro states proudly.

"Your best friend... That would be Kurusu-kun, correct?" When Goro nods briskly in reply, he brightens up at the offered reaction. "He's helped me with my research a few times," of _course_ Akira did, because that fool's influence was as wide as the pacific, "he's mentioned you a lot, actually."

His heart soars from hearing the statement, he just can't help himself. He snorts and sinks into the sofa, staring at the other man like a content cat. "I'd hope so, with how much troubles I've gone through for him."

"The friendship you two share is exceptional," Maruki smiles, seeming genuinely happy for the two of them. It throws Goro off. "You see, I'm usually visited by girls with lovesick hearts who want to talk about their feelings without being judged. Now, considering you have Kurusu-kun, why would you be coming around to talk to _me_ about your troubles?" Goro's breath stops in his throat as he properly meets Maruki's eyes; the gaze he gives reminds him of how Akira hides his line of sight behind his fake glasses to seem unassuming, and he takes a defensive stance immediately. This man is far more intelligent than what he projects himself to be to others, no _fucking_ wonder why Akira likes him.

"Maybe I have a broken heart," Goro mumbles out, trying to make it seem sarcastic but the words fall far too flat, and he knows Maruki can see past the indifferent front.

"Friendships have their ups and downs, but I believe something as firm as what you two share transcend petty disputes. What happened?"

"Akira—Akira has a _girlfriend_ ," he bites out the word like it's poison, and it may as well be, considering how horribly it's been plaguing him and stealing his sleep and torturing him from the inside the past few days. "And I'm just hurt that," _he never even considered me when I'm right here and I have been inexorably in love with him most of my life,_ "he hasn't told me yet. I've had to hear the news from a third party."

The counselor winces and sets down his juice box. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"He's told me _everything_ until now," Goro grumbles, "we've been friends for so long, before we knew how we looked. There is nothing of me that I could possibly hide from him, and although it's true that I disagree with his choice of partner, I could have been happy for him."

"The fact you're referring to that with _could_ is a sign you're not handling it well..." The opposing man sighs and leans forward, juice box in hand—where did that even _come_ from, anyways? "You said you didn't... approve of his partner of choice?"

"Yes, but that's because she's so..." Goro rolls around the adjectives he usually use to describe her— _boring, ordinary, teacher's pet_ , and decides to go with a kinder word, "conformative. It doesn't make _sense_ , Akira's a thrill-seeker. Why in the world would he be settling to someone as dull as Makoto Niijima?"

After a bout of silence, "maybe _this_ is the reason why he didn't want to tell you?"

Goro can't help himself from snapping out a, " _what?_ "

"Well, frankly, you're terrifying."

"Akira _likes_ my brutal honesty," he growls precariously in reply, "I've told him there must be something wrong with him or he must be a masochist. I think it's a mix of both, personally."

"Well, he may enjoy the combative banter as a form of friendship, but nobody would want to hear words like that about the person they _love_. Imagine, what would you do if Akira spoke that way to someone _you_ loved?" Goro would kick his fucking _ass_ , that's what he'd do, he did enough self-deprecation for the two of them and beyond. "Try to act a little bit gentler."

Goro squints, crossing his arms. "You want me to be... less me?"

A laugh is returned in his direction. "I doubt you could completely turn your personality around, I'm telling you to be a little gentler. In there somewhere must be someone who cares for his friend's being if you came here to talk about this with me. Instead of being hostile, try telling him how you actually feel with _words_. I'm sure whatever is going on between you is nothing that can impact your friendship in the long way."

But Goro's so bad with words, the reason why he's so comfortable with Akira is because they have a dynamic where he doesn't have to express his emotions verbally. Akira has always _known_. "I..."

"Really, not even for Akira's sake?"

 _For Akira's sake_. Maruki's arguments, despite the man, is solid and he doesn't see any obvious reasons to oppose to it. Considering he is confused on his next actions, he decides it wouldn't hurt to act for a while—after all, hasn't Akira been acting around _him_ first, behaving as if they couldn't spend time together? "I'll consider it."

"Good," the man smiles warmly at him. "That's all I can ask for." 

Goro lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding—and the weight of the fact he's told this man _everything_ comes crashing back. "You wouldn't tell anyone about this, right?" He mumbles, just realizing how he's just broken down in front of a man—worse, an _adult_ —he barely knew, goddammit, this is embarrassing. He rubs his eyes, surprisingly, he does feel a little better—he hasn't realized just _how much_ he's kept all of this stuffed in his honest, blunt self.

Maruki pats him consolingly. "Physician-patient confidentiality. Of course not."

Akechi gives a shaky smile. "Good, because otherwise I would have had to kill you, and I promised Akira I'd cut that out now."

It's funny how Maruki's eyes turn wide, the juice box he's just picked up dropping back onto the tea table at his words. "E-Excuse me?"

Instead of a reply, he gives a wide shark smile in Maruki's direction. "It's just a joke, really," then lets it morph into the horribly fake idol-perfect TV grins next, "you're not so bad for an adult. I think I'll make use of you more often."

Before the therapist can stutter out whatever reply, Goro twists the door handle and swiftly takes his elegant exit.

* * *

**_antithesis_ **

**Akira** : How was therapy?

 **you** : Stupid.

 **Akira** : Hopefully didn't tell that to Maruki sensei's face

 **you** : I have not.

**_[unsent] you_ ** _: For you._

**you** : He is a dangerous man.

 **Akira** : Seriously????????????

 **Akira** : Not even the mafia scares you and he?????????????

 **Akira** : An adult man sucking on a juice box wearing slippers scares you??????????????

 **you** : The yakuza act stronger than they are, which means you can't ever underestimate them.

 **you** : Meanwhile, Takuto Maruki projects himself to be an absolute idiot while he is quite intelligent. Smarter than all the teachers in this pit of a school.

 **Akira** : I'm pretty sure he's just clumsy

 **Akira** : Also not every conversation is a battle you have to win

 **you** : You don't know that.

 **you** : The man just rubs me the wrong way.

 **Akira** : Ah yes, Akechi Goro's one weakness

 **Akira** : Kindness

 **you** : I can handle kindness.

 **Akira** : You tried to run away from hugs for three straight weeks when we first met

 **you** : I don't like surprises.

 **Akira** : It's just a hug Goro it won't kill you

 **you** : Cardiac arrest can.

 **Akira** : Smh

 **Akira** : But you behaved so

 **Akira** : A gift

 **you** : Which is?

* * *

"Surprise!" Akira chirps behind of Goro, causing him to drop his phone in surprise. The raven catches it easily in midair and fits them back into his gloved hands. The other teen slots himself easily against Goro's back, nuzzling the back of his neck as he murmurs smugly, "the gift is me, my dear prince."

He should tell Akira to back off, he knows he has a girlfriend now, he refuses to be strung up in this _ridiculous_ flirting exercise of his no longer. But nobody's ever called Akechi Goro altruistic, and he can't help but lean into Akira's firm touches, cherishing what he knows will soon fade into distant memory. Of course, he can't show that to Akira, so he just flippantly throws him off with a, "can I get the receipt so I can get a refund?"

Akira chuckles against his neck and Goro shivers, Akira's hot breath against his skin causing the hairs on his neck to stand up. "Don't be like that, we both know you like me already."

_That's the problem. I like you too much._

The bravery he's gathered while talking with Maruki and all the coldness of the media's favorite Detective Prince all vanish in the face of Akira's gentle laughter right next to ear, and he feels like he's returned to the affection-deprived, terrified child who's been taken in by the Sakuras years ago. Akira has that effect on people, forcing them to face their deepest fears then helping them become better by overcoming it—the issue with Goro's is that it's not something that Akira can help him overcome like all the others, unless Akira suddenly miraculously turns gay, abandons Niijima and confesses that Goro's stupidly non-platonic feelings for him is reciprocated. 

Goro breathes out. His hands feel clammy inside the leather gloves, and their usual softness only feels constraining. He had been hoping for some practice time before facing Akira, but the die has been cast and Akira is far too sharp. There's no way to throw the other teen off his trail without drawing suspicion. _Just be kind_ , his internal voice resembling Maruki's voice eerily commands, _be kind and show him that you can handle this maturely. Show him that you do care, it can't be too difficult considering that you already do_.

"Of course, we're friends, aren't we?" _Nothing more than, to my disdain_. "I believe it's lunchtime? If the school rooftop is still open, we could eat together. Your food is always so incredible."

"Yeah, Haru gardens there, so the teachers keep it open for her. We all abuse that privilege..." Akira trails off, eyeing him oddly, worriedly, but bites his tongue.

The two of them trail to the rooftop of the school building. Goro hasn't had an attendance rate great enough to be attached at any part of the school facilities, but he knows Akira has fond memories of this hideout. Despite having attended a year less than Goro himself as this was where Akira and the patchwork group of friends he's gathered at Shujin—which somehow includes Niijima Makoto, why she's partook in an event that was in no way beneficial to her nor according to her nature is a mystery to Goro to this day—had exposed the trash baseball coach physically and sexually assaulting his students. All while _keeping it a secret_ from Goro with a, _I really didn't want to bother you in the middle of that huge painter case, I wasn't trying to keep a secret from you actively really_. To this day Goro isn't sure if he is proud of Akira for helping those completely shadowed by the school's greed or if he wanted to strangle him for being so reckless; at least Goro has police backup and a certain turquoise prosecutor that'd pick up his phone call at 3AM.

Akira unpacks his bentos as Goro takes out the mat from the corner and lay them out on the tables. The autumn breeze is cool against his fevered cheeks, and he shivers in their embrace as he takes a seat next to the loose teen already popping open a miso soup can with a, "I hope you like curry flavored donkatsu. And karaake. And aji tamago. And seafood wieners."

A groan. "Please don't tell me they're _all_ curry flavored."

"I made them over at the Leblanc kitchen, tell me what you think," Akira deadpans, then cracks a smile at Goro's expression. "I'm joking. It's just the donkatsu. I played around with the batter with it, but thought everything tasting like curry would be too much to handle even for you. There's also egg rolls too, with ground sweet onions and nothing else, Akechi Goro style."

"Wait, you _made_ all of this? It must have taken hours," Goro murmurs in awe as he pops a sausage into his mouth—as all of Akira's food is, it tastes magnificently amazing despite that it's turned cold. "I thought you were busy with your exam."

Akira's cheeks tint to a pretty shade of rosy red at his words. "Er... Yeah, I woke up a bit early today, and we haven't eaten together for so long. I wanted to surprise you."

Goro wonders if the buffet is an offering to make Goro less angry with him. Or perhaps Akira forgot that he was coming over to school today, and made the bento to share with Makoto instead. His cynical side sneers, _maybe he only realized it later, and had to take it out to eat with you begrudgingly_. He swallows down the emotion and smiles at Akira instead. "Well, consider me surprised."

If Akira's disappointed for eating with Goro it doesn't show on his face, but Goro never even figured out that Akira had a girlfriend so he doesn't find the nonverbal communication readings trustworthy anymore. "We really haven't been able to see each other lately, haven't we? Exams and reports for me, that teenagers extortion case for you." Akira gives him a full smile as he pours Goro a cup of miso soup. "How was your week?" 

"Sae-san and I caught one of the thugs in charge of blackmailing the kids, but they're only a middle-man. Kaneshiro isn't stupid to tell a spare limb anything important so I think he knows nothing, but the police insisted interrogating the witness and brushed me off. I know they're desperate for leads, but they'd get more information putting someone undercover," Goro rubs his forehead in frustration. "While the police are digging in the wrong X, the blackmailing is only going to get even more vigorous in Shibuya, all because of underpaid and overworked idiots."

"Ah yes, the incapability of bureaucracy," Akira grins brightly and leans forward, popping a roll into his mouth. "I missed dragging the system with you."

"If they were proficient at their jobs, there would be no need for private detectives like Shirogane Naoto and me, so I can't complain." _Be Nice. Nicenicenicenicenice. Even to things I hate. Prove to Akira that I can take him and Makoto dating with stride. What would Niijima say in a situation like this?_ "They're... trying their best in their positions." The sentence falls flat. Goro feels bile rise to his throat despite the savory food he's eating. "They're public servants, and," _they're idiots and power-abusive corrupt bastards that care more about their authority over the people they protect,_ "considering how overworked they are, it's not their fault they miss hints. I'm glad I'm there to help." The smile he gives Akira hopefully isn't as forced-looking as it feels.

Akira looks at him like he's grown a second head. Then tentatively, he lays down the chopsticks and touches him lightly on the cheek. Goro flinches involuntarily at the touch. "Goro, are you alright?"

"Hm? Of course, why wouldn't I be?" He puts more effort into his smile. Come on, he was a good actor...

Akira only squints in reply. "Has one of the yakuza almost killed you or something? Have you been in the hospital the last week? You suddenly learned the importance of life and humanity? In the decade of knowing you, I've never seen you speak kindly of the system in my life, _especially_ about cops."

"I can be kind," he snaps harshly, then instantly restrains himself. "I apologize for the outburst, it wasn't appropriate."

The boy sitting on the opposite side turns silent, then carefully starts, "I'm not saying you can't be." He runs his talented fingers down Goro's jacket to straighten out nonexistent folds, "I'm saying that you don't have to be, especially around me. Oh no, has Maruki-sensei said something to you?"

Akira hasn't said no when he's asked over text if he doesn't like his personality, which was why he was considering Maruki's cliché suggestions in the first place. "Maybe," he grumbles and picks an egg roll into his mouth. 

"Well, don't listen to him—as good as his intentions are, his therapy can be a hit or miss. I like you as how you are. Now, what's troubling you?"

"Disciplinary action. They're threatening to take me off the case," he mutters, choosing to chew on fried pork instead, pointedly avoiding Akira's eyes.

A snort. "That happens what, two times a week? You don't care about that." And when Goro keeps avoiding him he narrows his eyes, "why are you not telling me? You know I won't judge you. We've known each other way too long for me to judge you for who you are."

 _You yourself haven't told me about the relationship you're in, and you already judged me by not telling me_. "I don't want to talk about it. It's not like you tell me everything."

"What the _hell_ is that supposed to mean? What is wrong with you today, Goro?" Akira snaps, forcing the chopsticks down and closing the distance between them to stare straight into his eyes. "I've heard about how much an asshole you acted towards Makoto today, even more than the usual bickering because she came to me after her conversation with you. If something's happening, just tell me!"

Goro shoves as much food he can grab with a single move of chopsticks, chewing violently. They taste like sawdust now. An ugly thought hits him, one that's been tormenting him ever since he's been in that room with Takuto Maruki, and not even Akira's usual presence silences the nasty, self-deprecating voice in his head. He's a detective—he doesn't feel comfortable accusing Akira of hiding his relationship without proper evidence, Futaba's influence being the closest but it's still illegally attained evidence—so he goes with ammunition he _does_ have. "You've been avoiding me lately." It's a statement, not a question.

The flinch and the flick of eye, extremely subtle but still there, tells the truth more explicitly than words—he _has been_. Knowing he's been found out, Akira's body language turns instantly apologetic. "Goro. I've—I'm sorry."

"Why?" Maybe it has been something he's done wrong, and dating Makoto and keeping his distance from Goro has opened Akira's eyes or something. Goro feels himself crumble internally. "What are you hiding that could _possibly_ put a dent to the ironclad friendship that we share?"

Akira's defensively turns inward, and avoid his eyes. "I can't tell you yet, I'm sorry, but I swear it's not your fault. I-I just need a bit more time, Goro, I—"

Akira's voice fade to a faraway echo as Goro's mind whitens to a painful blank. He shakily rises up from the seat, dropping the steel onto the floor. Ignoring Akira's call he flees from the rooftop, flattening his expression to an emotionless slate as he steps down the stairs clinically to reach his floor, grabbing the bags and walking straight out. The school can discipline him for all he cares, he grits his teeth as he flicks out his phone to text.

* * *

**(** **๑** **`** **･** **ڡ** **･** **´** **๑** **)**

**you** : can i come over right now

 **you** : sorry i feel a little dizzy... 

**ANN** : GORO???

 **ANN** : wup

 **ANN** : of course of course

 **ANN** : u are welcome in my place any time!!!

 **ANN** : let me grab the bags n leave

 **you** : sorry. i'm just

 **you** : in a bad place right now

 **ANN** : i have ice cream

 **you** : is it mint choco

 **ANN** : of course!!! the entire bucket

 **ANN** : choco syrup and not chip like you enjoy it

 **ANN** : you can eat it straight out from the pack with a spoon

 **you** : i'm on my way.

 **ANN** : what happened!!!

 **ANN** : is it ur dad again

 **ANN** : ill fight whoever did that to u

 **you** : fight with akira

 **you** : kind of

 **ANN** : oh no it's worse

 **you** : i'm at the front door

* * *

"Sorry for making you skip school," Goro breathes out wearily from his blanket cocoon on Ann's sofa once the world starts sinking back to him and his senses become active again.

Ann snorts, bringing the remote to pause the movie they're watching together—it's Goro's stress-relief flick, _American Psycho_. "Are you kidding me? You're more important to me than some equations on board. Plus, there's that after the Kamoshida mess, I feel like I'm walking on thin ice every day I just sit there in class. Not that it can possibly make me regret what I did, wrecking that motherfucker's life like how he's nearly destroyed Shiho's."

As close as he is to Akira, there's a niche filling that he can't quite attain with his best friend. It's not that they don't have their similarities—because they do, it's why they were able to instantly befriend each other despite the distance between them—it is just that Akira will never be a public figure under constant inspection, subject to glances and whispers and rumors due to his position as a media-darling detective, while Ann does. Ann is special because the start of their friendship didn't even involve Akira at all; they've met each other in a shoot few times, gradually warming up to acquaintances over time, even became close enough to exchange numbers far before the Kamoshida scandal. She is the one person along with Futaba that he can expect to keep his secret, and side with him objectively.

Ann is also good because he doesn't have to tell her as she _knows_ everything already. Even though they've drifted apart over these past few months, until April this year they were bonding over their common denominator: that they were crushing _hard_ over their respective best friends. Past tense now for her, as over the Kamoshida incident's progression, Ann has learned painfully that life is far too short to hesitate over her feelings and confessed to Suzui. It has, as Goro had repeatedly argued, gone splendidly well and despite Suzui's relocation (the traumatic experience had been too much to handle for the volleyball player) they've been texting every day and meeting up at every possible opportunity, enjoying each other's companionship. As happy he had been for the two of them—really, truly, the amount of pining the two of them had going for each other had been ridiculous—Goro hasn't been spending time often with Ann after she's finally gotten together with Shiho, not wanting to interfere in their precious relationship. Their time was already so limited without him butting into it.

His heart twists when he realizes that it'll be like this with Akira too, with him getting progressively busier, flying fast to enjoy life while Goro eternally remains static, entrapped by his feelings for Akira.

"But I can't really believe Akira has been _avoiding_ you," Ann grumbles from her place on the floor, hugging a bunny significantly resembling Suzui—most likely a gift from the volleyball player herself. "After nearly a decade of friendship! I'll kick his ass in myself."

"I appreciate the sentiment, but please refrain from hurting him as I still frustratingly care for him," Goro mutters, taking a more aggressive grip on the spoon to shovel against the half-melted ice cream in his arms. It hits the bottom of the bucket, making a squelch. He makes a face.

Ann notices the expression and immediately she softens. "Out of ice cream? I have another pint in the fridge I can grab if you need more." 

"Bad idea, I'll end up regurgitating everything if I eat more," Goro drops the empty bucket next to him and snuggles into the fluffy blankets more viciously. His stomach gurgles. He tells it to shut up viciously.

Ann smiles gently as she hops up to the sofa next to him, snuggling into the blankets. "If you ever need a fake girlfriend to make him jealous, I'm always up for some actin'!"

Goro scoffs. "That'd never work. He knows I'm gay and that you're dating Shiho. Also, your acting skills have much, much more work to be done."

"Hey! Some of us are not natural-born actors, you know," Ann pouts, then leans into him. "Unlike you and Mika, I have to work for it."

He can see what she's doing—trying to alleviate the mood and ease him into speaking. He lets out a shaky sigh, realizing he _does_ feel a little better now that time has passed and his panic attack has subsided. "I believe I am ready to talk about this," he declares.

"Good, that's good," she pats him gently down the back. "Always up for being your emotional sounding board."

And he appreciates her for it, always. "Am I overreacting?"

"Honestly? Taking out Hegel's book when it signifies your relationship—that's what I'd call cheating," Ann points out. "You should bring him to a rooftop and fight him."

He was going to. He was going to play nice to slowly extort an answer from Akira, then if it didn't work, he was going to corner him and demand an answer, it was only a _date_. As much as Goro disliked his choice of partner, he would have swallowed it and moved on. Yet at the moment, all his bravery and stoicness all vanished in the face of his crush on the opposite side, and he could think to ask was whether or not Akira was really avoiding him, and when he saw Akira hesitate, his mind had shut down and all he could do was flee. In the face of love, he had been nothing but a coward. "I tried. It didn't go very well," he sighs.

"Also, I'm still not sure about Akira dating Mako even with everything, because that's just _way_ too unlikely from my point of view. Are you sure that he and she are, ya know, ya know?"

Goro smiles sadly. "That's worse, isn't it? If he's not avoiding me to hide the relationship, he's avoiding me because of me. Maybe he knows about my crush on him. Now that he has someone, he can no longer humor me. Or... perhaps with a lover, he's finally learned that I'm just a waste of time. There's no need for someone as compassionate like Akira to spend time with someone like me."

Ann gasps dramatically, hits him against the arm. "There is no way, your personality is charming in a pointy way! Like a cactus!"

He throws a glare for the cactus comment. "Then _why_ do you think he's avoiding me after so many years? I told Akira about my father, and Akira's told me about his questionable criminal history when I'm a detective," he argues indignantly.

"I dunno, I can't read his face at all," Ann grumbles, "but I still think there's a better chance of him liking you than Mako."

Ann is a severely biased factor that he cannot take into consideration. Just because he had been correct in assuming her mutual attraction to Shiho has led to her constantly badgering him to confess himself—thank god he hadn't taken her advice, because it could have ended in their friendship even earlier. Not that it lasted much longer.

"Niijima has been staying around Akira nonetheless, Akira calls her a friend, and they have been putting behind their differences to 'study' every day lately," Goro reminds her the evidence pointedly, "also, if Akira liked me back, I think I would have noticed. I'm still a detective."

Ann falls silent. "I dunno, you're kind of a dumbass when Akira is involved. The Kamoshida incident—"

"—was such a horrible case of abuse of power that I've lost my cool for a moment, it had nothing to do with Akira. I would have done the same if he was threatening any of you."

"Yeah, yeah, of course you would have. You're right _all the time_ , Mr. super cool Detective Prince," Ann flippantly throws his words off, clearly unbelieving. She sighs in distress. "Now all this talk is giving me congestion, _I_ need ice cream. Pass me the bucket, detective boy."

He glances into the can. "It's empty."

The model leaps from her seat, taking the empty package to toss against the trash can with eerie accuracy—perhaps she picked up a few tricks from Suzui. "You said no more ice cream, right?" When Akechi murmurs an affirmative, she goes for the fridge, returning with a small bowl for herself, and a protein bar for him. "You better talk to Akira after this, though. Dunno what is happening with him, but I really don't want you hanging around in that minefield of your mind alone."

That wasn't happening, but arguing with Ann is exhausting, so he shrugs and decides to tell her that he will. "Mm-hmm," he hums as he sluggishly goes for the remote and starts the movie again. With the sound of suited men yelling among each other, he clings to the blankets and forgets about Akira, even if it's just for a while.

* * *

**antithesis**

**Akira** : Goro????

 **Akira** : Are you angry with me

**_[unsent] you_ ** _: what do you think_

**Akira** : God I fucked up didn't I

 **Akira** : Okay

 **Akira** : The reason why I've been avoiding you. is.

 **Akira** : Err

 **Akira** : I really don't think it's something I can tell you over text

 **Akira** : Can we meet later?

 **Akira** : School isn't over for me but... I really want to tell you personally

 **Akira** : If that's alright with you...???

* * *

**District Prosecutor**

**Niijima** : The results for questionings are in.

 **Niijima** : The men knows nothing. They're nothing but a middle man that Kaneshiro already cut off.

 **you** : Exactly as I told them.

 **Niijima** : Yes, you did. Very, very clearly.

 **Niijima** : Which is why we're not meeting at the precinct today, but somewhere else.

 **you** : You're buying me sushi?

 **Niijima** : Isn't it too early for dinner?

 **you** : It's never too early for non-conveyor belt sushi!

 **Niijima** : It is for me. It's four. Meet me in the cafe.

 **you** : Which one?

 **Niijima** : You know the one.

 **you** : Right. I'll be there.

**_[unsent] you_ ** _: Nothing like work to distract the broken heart, right._

**Niijima** : Good.

* * *

Conversing with Ann having lifted the weight enough that it's no longer crushing his soul, he takes off towards where Sae is waiting. They don't have to decide _which_ cafe they meet in; there is only one around the District Prosecutor's office that serves proper coffee to sate both of their Leblanc-accustomed tastes. It's tucked in the corner of the forest of buildings, owned by a gruff old man who likes to collect LPs, unbothered by their presence and has welcomed them to stay as long as they'd like. Once the venue enters his view, it doesn't take long to notice his work partner cross-legged flicking through the case files on the outer tables of the balcony, drawing certain curious gazes around from her. Without calling out to her, he takes hold of his briefcase more comfortably before trotting forward and taking a seat opposite of her.

"Let me guess, Shido refusing to pay you child support again?" Sae questions, not even looking up from her case files as she greets him. "Need me to threaten him with the backing of the Prosecutor's office?"

"No," Akechi pouts. "It has nothing to do with Shido." _For once_.

At that, her eyes flick up from the papers, scanning him over. She nods once to herself as if she's realized something. "Ah. I missed the subtle fondness in your eyes because you were so far away. Something happened with Kurusu?"

Goro sighs in defeat. "Yes, we're... I don't exactly know what we're hav— _wait_ , do you have my expressions cataloged?"

A shrug. "I don't know what you think of yourself to be, but you're not _actually_ the unreadable cold-hearted Detective Prince the media makes you out to be. Reading you is incredibly easy considering you have the same repertoire. There are three things that frustrate you: Shido, not being on good terms with Kurusu, and the post-modern complex world where the capitalist media uses narratives to blur the definitive lines and keep the population chained like lazy pigs. Your own words for the last one." 

"We have worked together too long, I want a new partner," Goro sulks as he takes a proper seat instead of looming over the chair threateningly, belatedly taking the case file that Sae slides over to him naturally.

She snorts in reply. "Try your best, nobody in the prosecutor's office wants to work with you except me. You have a _personality_ , Akechi, and most adults take your sass as a personal offense. They'd rather let your talent rot than to deal with that, which is why we're meeting in a cafe instead of going inside the damn building, because if you say one wrong thing they might _actually_ kick you off the case right now."

Goro rolls his eyes, flipping over the first page of the report as he retorts pointedly, "cops and their _pointless_ pride are faking obvious murders as unfortunate accidents and instigating violence. Excuse _me_ if I don't care for their feelings."

"Yes, Akechi, I know you hate cops, I _work_ with you. But if we're going to make meaningful progress, we can't exclude cops from the case. Plus, you're technically _their_ consultant, that makes you an officer yourself. You'd be excluding yourself."

"I'd rather die than become a proper cop," Akechi mutters then he lets his gaze land on the paper. Goro's eyes rapidly scan through the results. It's really as he predicted; the man doesn't know anything about where the money goes, having a drop point to leave the cash, which would have been cleaned out by now. The interrogation wasn't an absolute waste of their time as they know Kaneshiro's modus operandi clearer now, but that could easily be altered by the goons now that they know that the police are aware.

"You're particularly combative today," Sae murmurs. "It must have been a bad fight between you and Kurusu."

He groans. "Must you bring that up? I was actually starting to forget about that."

"Akechi Goro, choosing to _avoid_ a problem instead of facing it with bull-headed obstinacy?" The prosecutor's gaze is piercing. "Yourself of merely a week ago would call what you are doing now cowardly."

Goro can't stop himself from snapping viciously, "what is it to _you_ if I am having a fight? We're business partners, Sae-san."

"Because whatever is troubling you has you shook enough that it may interfere with your work, and I cannot have you unfocused on the case when we are running out of time and back at point zero. You've told me that Kurusu's one of your major inspirations of doing what you do, your dynamic with him would of course drastically affect your mental state. And..." She sighs, rubbing her forehead. "We've worked for nearly three years together, Akechi. I buy you all that sushi and spend time with you after work because we've gone past mere work colleagues now. You can talk to me if there's something burdening you down."

Goro's voice stops in his throat. He hasn't expected that. "I... Thank you," he stutters out, but at least the prosecutor herself visibly looks shaken from the emotional moment. He lets his lips twitch to a smile. "It's just, we've never really had a proper fight. Akira and I barely have to talk to understand each other, after all. I'm not quite sure how to deal with it."

"Did you antagonize him?" Sae questions, and Goro glares from behind his papers. 

A grumble. "Why are you assuming that _I_ did something wrong? You're supposed to be on my side."

"I'm on the side of the truth, and wouldn't you prefer a completely objective third eye? Your own friends would be biased in your favor, and you become useless when Kurusu is involved."

Goro glares from behind the papers. "I do _not_."

"Akechi, you get emotional whenever Kurusu is involved," Sae points out, "don't let me get started on the Kamoshida incident. You're lucky Kurusu had a recording device on him that day, or _you're_ the one who would have been expelled from Shujin."

He growls dangerously. "I couldn't _stand_ that bastard acting like that, like the school was his fucking palace—"

Sae is unforgiving as she replies back, "yes, what he did was utter injustice, yet what you did that day wasn't _like you_. Your best asset isn't your fist, it's your analytical mind, and _rarely_ your terrifying skills at the shooting range. You are worryingly inhumane most of the time, but Kurusu keeps you tethered to your emotions. It's not particularly a bad thing, until it becomes about them and you lose your objectivity."

Goro is _really_ wishing his usual aloofness can be applied to his current circumstances. "Well. He's keeping a secret from me, and he's avoiding me. When I confronted him, he only said he couldn't tell me yet. But I know already. It's because he has a _girlfriend_."

"You think... he's dating." Sae mutters. "From my _own_ experience, I really doubt that's the case."

"I already have evidence to back up my claim," he's already heard the talk from Ann, he doesn't need a recap from Sae too. "But if he's avoiding me not because of his new relationship it's even worse, isn't it? He'd be avoiding me because because he hates me, he's finally fed up with me—"

Sae turns quiet for a moment, then her eyes widen in recognition, then sighs in frustration. The subtle transition from one emotion to another is almost unrecognizable, but Goro has been so used to Akira's flat, expressionless face that Sae is easy to read in comparison. "Akechi, I _really_ think you should be with Kurusu and talking about this. I have a clue what his secret may be about, and I doubt it's what you're worried about."

"You're the one who brought me here for work," Goro grumbles.

"I didn't know you were having a heartbreak problem, Akechi. No, get this dealt with first, I'll look for clues myself in the process," the prosecutor asserts firmly. "As you are right now, you may as well be useful as useless sack of potatoes to me."

"Ouch, Sae-san? I'm going to call _you_ useless sack of potatoes when you get a girlfriend."

"Good luck with that, because I already have a wife," Sae says, expression serious. When Goro gapes at him uselessly, she sighs and shrugs, "she provides me with medical supplies."

_"How did I not know about this?"_

* * *

**_antithesis_ **

**Akira** : Still waiting for you in that cafe you always like going to

 **Akira** : The place that you said makes good crepe cake

 **Akira** : Because it's not that sweet

 **Akira** : I really miss you a lot

**_[unsent] you_ ** _: Oh, so now you're available. Not fun having your own game turned on you, is it?_

**Akira** : I don't know what to say but

 **Akira** : I swear I'll fix it really

 **Akira** : It's really not your own fault 

* * *

He's not sure why he goes to the school rooftop after school, when everyone including Akira has already cleared out. The cool air greets him, as well as the chilling memories of the event hours earlier, and the sight of another of his own age carefully tending the gardens. Not to disturb the other student, he tiptoes around towards one of the edges until he's standing in front of the steel fences erected due to Suzui.

His caution is proves to be in vain when he hears another pair of footsteps pad towards him, settling mere inches behind of him. "Isn't it beautiful, how you can see the whole city from here? I like the rooftop for that reason. Everyone looks so... tiny from here. It reminds me of that one science video I've watched, how we're all nothing but tiny specks in the scheme of the universe, and how we should all help each other."

"Do you know that in most of us, there is a certain urge to jump from high places?" Goro chirps as he grasps the steel fences, feeling the metal bite into his gloves. He stares straight down, and his heart twinges passionately within its cage. "It's called the High Place Phenomenon. The French call it 'L’appel du Vide', roughly translated as _Call of the Void_. The powerful yet easily dismissed impulsive urge to do something self-destructive it could easily destroy your life. Most people can effortlessly ignore it, unless they're chronically depressed or suicidal."

He can practically _hear_ the flinch of the other student. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't... Do... you have an urge like that, Akechi-kun?" The girl now looks a bit alarmed, caution etched to her motions. 

"I've wanted to jump for the longest time after my mother's suicide," Akechi confesses to the winds. "I think the only reason I could handle the despondent foster homes without giving into the urge was thanks to Akira's emails. Have _you_ ever had a moment like that?"

Okumura quietens, then silently vents, "when father has tried to get me married to that... wretched man. I realized then I'd be nothing more than a tool for him now, the kind father who's succeeded for the family's sake no longer there. And if he treated me, someone who is family and someone he loved once upon a time, like this... I knew the rumors surrounding him had to be true."

Out of everyone in Akira's patchwork group of friends, Okumura is the one he communicates the least with. It's not that he particularly holds contempt for her—at least towards Okumura herself and not what she represents—it's merely that they are utterly incapable of coexisting and understanding each other on a visceral level. She is a gracious pacifist seeing the best of humanity, a particular kindness birthed from her privileged lifestyle. He is a cutthroat misanthrope seeing the worst, materialized from his own miserable, apathetic childhood. She finds joy in bringing life to form like mother nature, he finds sadistic justice bringing vengeance and destroying lives like the grim reaper. They are like oil and water—you can try your best to mix them together, but no matter the effort they'd awkwardly separate once the external force is removed. Perhaps in a different world they could have been close friends, in a life where his father accepted him as a son and he was equally empowered, but as _Akechi Goro_ , he could not coexist with Okumura Haru. Their nature itself collided.

"I won't apologize for doing what I did to your father. I doubt you're someone who takes empty apologies well, anyways. What he did was unforgivable."

"I understand. You're a detective, it's who you are. You can't stand injustice," Okumura responds resolutely. "And... He was ruining people's lives, driving them to death, and as much as I care for my father, I cannot defend what he has done. He must serve his penance imprisoned, and I must try my best to make it up to the surviving victims and family in my father's place."

For a capitalist, Okumura was bearable. Just barely, but still. They might not exactly be _friends_ , because he can never forgive the fact that her very essence of kindness has been birthed from blood money. Yet he gruffly acknowledged they weren't her own choice—sometimes parents were jackasses and there was no one who understood that better than him—and that was why they were still acquaintances.

They fall into silence after that. Goro doesn't mind the silence, though. All he does is talk, talk, talk—he understands that it's his job, that it's what people expect of him, that it's the one weapon he holds to get people to finally recognize him, for _Shido_ to recognize him, but it get tiring after a while.

With time lost to the gentle breeze of the winds, Goro breathes in silence until a gentle hand offers something against his hand. He gingerly accepts it and stares at it—it's a beautifully round tomato. He rubs at its skin, liking how it squeaks against his glove, then takes a bite of it. The taste is refreshing and invigorating, restoring his spirits instantly merely by taste, although it doesn't last long.

"Why are you alone here, Akechi-kun?" Okumura questions in the gentle tone she always wears. "You're always so busy."

"I had work, but my partner told me to deal with my problem before coming back," he says, "yet my usual to-go problem solver is the current reason for my troubles, so I decided to get some fresh air to think."

"Ah... Akira-kun and you?" She questions curiously, "I understand that feeling. I've... been quite distant from Mako-chan lately, too. She usually helps me move the soil bags and helps me with gardening, but lately she's been so busy with Akira-kun..."

He doesn't really care for her friendship with Niijima, but he makes a sympathetic noise and takes another bite out of the cool fruit's flesh. The emotional effect won't quite be impactful in her case, considering what he feels for Akira is nothing short of romantic, but the pain of a close friend distancing themselves is enough to feel empathy for her.

"I know it wouldn't be the same to you, though. I... I like Mako-chan, actually. More than as a friend," Haru murmurs quietly from behind him, face flushing up. "Ah, it feels so real now that I've said it out loud. I've had nobody to tell until now..."

Goro blinks and laughs awkwardly. He has never had to retract a thought so fast in his life before. "Well, actually."

Haru's eyes widen, then she gives him a bittersweet smile. "You too, huh... I hope she'll be happy," she murmurs softly. "Even if it's not with me, if she's happy, I think I'll be happy."

"I don't think I ever can," Akechi sighs to the air, "I don't think I can ever get over him. No matter who comes after, nothing will ever be able to overthrow Akira to me." 

The refreshing wind flutters between them, and silence descends between the two once more as they silently brood over their respective unrequited loves.

* * *

**_antithesis_ **

**Akira** : Hey Goro

 **Akira** : I know I fucked up today but can you do me a favor

 **Akira** : I left my english notebook at the music room

 **Akira** : I need it right now I'd really appreciate it

 **Akira** : Please!!

 **Akira** : Thanks

* * *

Goro hates himself. Goro hates himself for being affected by this so badly, but Goro hates himself even more for not being able to tell Akira to fuck off and pick up his goddamn book himself. After stepping into the wrong hallway a few times, he arrives at the designated room.

The room is huge, with chairs and stands liberally scattered throughout the large room. There are also big closets one next to another at the back of the room, most likely for storing musical instruments. There are no windows and a different entrance excluding the one he's slipped in from, and Goro distantly notes that the classroom meets all criteria of a locked room in crime mysteries.

Yet all of this is inconsequential in the face of Kurusu Akira scanning the room with the blank face he always wears at the center of the room. Rage boils over in his heart. He's pissed that Akira wouldn't just tell him to his face for a talk now, is this how far their friendship has fallen? Once upon a time, there was nothing that they couldn't have told each other.

He is growling as he approaches Akira. "What are _you_ doing here!?"

"Huh?" Akira blinks in confusion, turning on his heels to face Akechi.

Akechi hisses, taking out his cell phone. "You asked me for the book."

The befuddlement on the other boy only intensifies at his words. "What book? You're the one who asked me to come over, Goro."

"That's—"

It suddenly hits him. _The room is perfect for trapping someone_. Or in their case, _someones_. Instantly he goes for the door, trying to twist the handle, but someone's changed the doorknobs so the door can be locked from the outside. He curses violently, kicks at the door, but it doesn't even budge. "We're locked in."

"I _really_ have no idea what's happening," Akira's so perfectly perplexed, which means he really has been lured out, just like Goro.

Lured out by someone who can fabricate phone messages. "Futaba," Goro grumbles. "She must have found it necessary to intrude for whatever reason."

"Goro, I'm really sorry for what happened today—" Akira starts again, strikingly resembling a deer in front of headlights.

He cuts him off before whatever excuse there can come. "I don't care about it," _that's a lie_ , "I'd rather do something else than hear your apologies and excuses."

What Akechi says as dismissal, Akira accepts as forgiveness. "Yeah, but still. I was avoiding you without telling you, and at our confidant level that was uncool of me. I'm going to need a bit more time to get my heart ready to tell you."

 _That you're dating Niijima? Or that you hate me?_ "I'll take that. Stalemate?"

Akira is exuberant as he takes Goro's offered hand. "Stalemate. Oh, what is a gallant thief as such as myself supposed to do without a magnificent prince to steal the hearts of?"

"Stop that," Akechi snaps, cutting off his ridiculous attempts to lighten the mood. "Stop flirting with me."

"But I thought you like the flirting," immediately Akira's elation melts away to give way to dejection, and the sight makes Goro so _fucking_ miserable. 

"Not like this," Goro shakes his head. But for how long? How long will it Akira to come to terms with his relationship with Niijima or his feelings for Goro? He can't imagine living another day like this, skittering over thin ice, keeping a part of himself from the one person who he could tell _everything_ to, getting constantly flirted at by the one person he loves when he knows it can't truly be meant to him. And for what? Goro already knows what Akira is hiding. His heart struggles as he finally reveals, "I have a confession to make myself. I already know your secret."

Akira looks _terrified_. "You do? Oh god, Goro, I—"

Goro silences the other teen with a finger. "And I no longer can tolerate your flirting anymore. Not when I know when you're taken."

Akira gapes at him wordlessly, imitating a fish quite well, then utters uncomprehendingly, "W-W-What? Me? _Taken_? As in, romantically taken, and not kidnapped by the yakuza? Where did you get an idea like _that_?"

Something about how easily Akira is tossing him off lights a fuse in him, and he snaps his head up to glare up at Akira, "Are you _trying_ to antagonize me knowing I have feelings for you? I already know that you and Niijima are dating."

Akira gapes at him, then starts chuckling. Then it devolves into a full-out laughter, like he's hyperventilating.

"Is this all merely _amusing_ for you?" Goro murmurs furiously. He feels the tears gathering around in his eyes, and this only _pisses him off more_ , crying like a child at a time like this. "I thought you were better than this, Akira."

"No, let me get this straight—ha, straight—you think Makoto and I are dating. Why in the world would you think that? You know my type, Makoto is like, the polar opposite of _everything_ on that list," Akira once again denies the accusation, still chuckling to himself lowly.

Rage boils up in Goro, can't believe that Akira's lying to him even when he's exposed him. "I've seen the texts, don't lie to me! The texts between you and Makoto. Y-You called her _Mako-chan_. And you got yourself caught by the committee just to see her."

"How the hell did you— _Futaba_ ," Akira sighs and flips out his phone, "and considering that you think we are _dating_ , absurd really, let me guess what happened: you whited out in rage and didn't read the rest of that conversation."

He _hates_ that Akira can read him so transparently at even times like this. "You're lying."

"I am _not_. I have the evidence, and you can read it yourself," and he's being shown the full transcript of the conversation:

**Makoto** : I cannot believe you got yourself caught by the committee to see me.

 **you** : Less questions asked

 **you** : This way I _have_ to spend time with you

 **Makoto** : Stop that.

 **you** : Makooooo-chan

 **Makoto** : Nope. You don't get to call me that outside of roleplay.

 **Makoto** : What would you do if someone else started calling Akechi _my prince_?

 **you** : Crimes

 **you** : The media already stole the detective prince title from me already

 **Makoto** : Exactly. It's our thing, and I won't let even _you_ taint that.

 **you** : Fair

 **you** : Fuck remembered that today is Wednesday today is boy's night

 **Makoto** : And?

 **you** : Kawamaki's essay is due today

 **you** : my parents said if my grades drop too much here I have to come back to hometown

 **you** : I don't want to go back

 **you** : hometown doesn't have Goro

 **Makoto** : You brought this on yourself.

 **you** : Seriously!!!! and I'm helping you out and you can't even delay my due date for an essay!!!

 **Makoto** : I'm helping you out as much as you're helping me out. Mutually beneficial. That was the deal, wasn't it?

 **you** : What's the point of having a council president as a friend if she can't even talk with teachers!!!!!!!

 **Makoto** : You've abused my position enough. You skip _classes_. 

**you** : Excuseeeeeeee me that's Ms Kawamaki letting me sleep in class

 **you** : I should get more privileges from You

 **Makoto** : Nope. Work on your essay. I'll see you in a few hours.

 **you** : Betrayed 

"See? Makoto and I are not dating, and I'm frankly offended you thought that I'd date _her_ ," Akira scoffs. "Come on, you _know_ my type and who I am."

With the counter-evidence provided his way, it's hard to keep pushing, yet... "But she said she was teaching you _Hegel_. That was _our_ thing."

"That she was what—she was _not_. Goro, she—oh, god—she must have picked up the copy of the book I've left over in the council room and she panicked while covering up for me. We have never actually read the book together, I promise you. It's just that we have a shared problem and we've been trying to find a good solution for it."

No. Goro has already come to terms with this, that he's never be the target of Akira's affections. He's already put the hope back in the Pandora's box, but he can't help himself from hoping with this new information laid out in front of him—"A. A shared problem?" 

"Yeah, I had a crush on someone," Akira whispers shyly, "and so did she. We were offering each other ideas and we were trying to come up with the best way to confess. We'd meet up everywhere we can to roleplay some scenarios, come up with best lines and stuff. It was stupid, but it helped me gather my confidence, I guess." 

"On someone," Goro feels his throat close up. "You. Like someone."

"Yes," Akira's fascinating grey eyes somehow shine brightly even in the darkness of the closet. "I like _you_."

Akechi blanks out. He has to be dreaming. His frustration finally boiled over, made him faint and now he's dreaming about this. But it _hurts_ as he drags his fingers into his skin, so he lets out breathlessly, "like, you l-like me back? You reciprocate my feelings?"

"Yes, _my_ big dumb dummy, but then I've never noticed either, so I guess I'm the idiot too, huh? I can't believe—you thought I was dating _Makoto_ , out of everyone possible—"

Oh. Akira _likes him back_. Goro brings his left hand to the right to pinch the little skin showing his gloves and arm collar.

It hurts.

"Haha... Now that I think about it..." He has jumped to conclusions far too early from such little evidence, has he? Yet. "I thought that you may not be dating Makoto but that was only worse because that meant that you were avoiding me on _purpose_ , and you flinched when I pushed and I couldn't just _cope_ with the fact of losing you like that, and I—"

"Breathe," Akira cuts in, and Goro takes a hasty breath in at the command, feeling far too vulnerable for his comfort. "I'll be truthful with you. I... I really was avoiding you, but that was because I was doing so much roleplaying with Makoto lately and I couldn't look at your face without thinking how you would react if I gave in and finally kissed you."

"I-I would have kissed you back," Goro mumbles truthfully. "I would have frozen at the instance because I don't feel deserving of your love, but I would have. Kissed you back. Eventually."

Akira's eyebrows crinkle in fondness, and Akira's right hand come forward to find Goro's gloved left. Akira threads his fingers between Goro's, then brings them up to his face to lean against the leather. "Goro, you are the most beautiful person I know. Both outside _and_ the inside."

"You can't possibly mean that." Akira knows so many people, after all, and although he may be prettier, his personality is hardly ideal, hardly lover material compared to countless other girls and boys that flock around Akira drawn by his exceptionalism. What does Goro have? The media talks about how he's the aloof prince in his high castle without a heart, how although he's cool and refreshing, nobody can fall in love with a pile of ice bricks. He wasn't enough for his mother, and he may as well be extinct to his bastard father—the two people that should have loved him unconditionally. "I don't want your pity. I don't want your hesitation. You are just saying that because you think I'm pathetic, and I—"

"None of that now," Akira whispers to him, "no amount of your self-deprecation can make me change my mind. I love all parts of you, your keen intelligence that can counter my own wit, your brutally merciless honesty, your adamantine will to influence others to care for the forgotten and the neglected. Most importantly, I love your subtle methods of showing care—and you care, you care _so much_ , don't let those idiots in the media convince you of their lies, Goro. _Nobody_ could ever compare to you ever since we met each other, how could I ever look another way when my best friend was so beautiful and perfect in every way by my side? The only reason I hesitated for so long was because I was scared I wouldn't be good enough for you, and that you'd know this and reject me."

"But nothing scares you. Not even that _monstrosity_ in Big Bang Burgers."

"Anything regarding you makes me a complete coward, I've heard it in explicit detail from Makoto," Akira grins warmly, "you should see the number of unsent texts on my phone."

"You see the number of unsent ones in mine."

Akira stares up to him, and even with his fever-red skin under the classroom's artificial lights, Goro, even with his affection for the beautiful and precious, has never seen another more invaluable and breathtaking than the bushy-haired teen closing the distance between the two of them. When their foreheads are brushing together, Akira starts breathlessly, "Goro, I love you. I love _you_ , every bit of you, and if it's alright with you, would you like to be m—"

His reply at the tip of the tongue, but whatever embarrassing and sappy phrase that was going to tumble out of his mouth never sees the day as it is interrupted with a loud bang, a consequent crash and the resulting pained moan. Akira's and Goro's head simultaneously snap towards to the source of the noise: the closet in the corner of the room, and a man wearing a white coat who tumbled from its doors, currently consoling his bruised bottom while coughing into his mouth in anguish.

It's Takuto Maruki.

Their eyes meet as Maruki slowly raises his head. "Well, it's good that you two made up!" The therapist claps his hand cheerfully from where he's sprawled on the floor, face covered in a huge grin. "What a _misunderstanding_. It's a good thing it all came to a satisfying conclusion, though!"

The only satisfying aspect of this situation is that Akira is looking as befuddled as he is, nothing else. The fact that something as personal as this has been all overheard by a stranger is mortifying. 

"How... how long were you in there, Maruki-sensei?" Akira, being the extrovert out of the two of them, questions awkwardly first as he reaches forward and offers a hand.

The doctor takes it gingerly, groaning as Akira pulls him up to full height. "Sorry about that, I was trying to come out the moment two of you stepped into the room, but before I could, you two started talking, and after that, you were already seemed to be doing a great job with communication, and I thought my presence would only interrupt it..."

"No kidding," Goro mutters.

"So I was trying to keep myself silent in here until you took care of everything and left, but I twisted my body the wrong way in the darkness and lost my balance, and accidentally crashed against the door that couldn't suspend my weight. Really thank you for helping me with the thesis, Kurusu-kun. It's nice to meet you again, Akechi-kun."

"By the way, your advice was bullshit," the words tumble out of Goro's lips before he can stop himself—not that he particularly wanted to stop them—and it earns a sharp punch against his arm from his partner.

At the sight of conflict brewing in front of him, the pacifist furiously waves his hand in front of him. "No, no! Kurusu-kun, he's right. As someone with an objective third eye, I should have stopped him when he was jumping to conclusions. I've given him counterproductive thoughts, and I should have known better."

"Don't feed his misanthropic agenda and his ego, Maruki-san, he has far too much of both already," Akira says, but there's no actual poison behind the words. "I'll have to deal with that from now on. God. I get to deal with that from now on."

"Yes, yes. Well, so, the—" Maruki awkwardly stutters, eyes skittering between Akira and himself.

"Get out," Goro declares serenely.

"Eh? Of course, yes, you already resolved all your problems! I'm really sorry for this, and I'm so proud of you boys." He smiles brightly for the two of them. "I really hope—"

Goro gives the man a frigid smile, all shark teeth and predatory. "I said. Get _out."_

Thankfully Maruki doesn't have to be told _thrice_ and at the hiss he snaps his mouth shut, shivering at the intensity of Goro's scowl and the rage simmering underneath it. The doctor retrieves his coat from the floor, and immediately scampers away, offering a chipper 'really, congratulations' at Akira one last time before he disappears into the hallways.

"You didn't have to be _that_ mean to him, you know," Akira murmurs fondly, "he really means the best for us, and I bet he was shoved into a closet by one of our friends into the first place."

"Futaba and whoever was helping her out," Goro sighs, "she must have properly read through your texts and figured out everything."

Akira shakes his head in disbelief. "I still can't believe you had her _hack_ me, I would have shown you my phone if you asked."

"You know, Futaba said the exact same thing," he murmurs, recalling back to his talk with Futaba—despite it being a mere week ago, the talk feels like a lifetime ago. Then he remembers what they were talking about before Maruki's unfortunate interruption. "Yes, but that's not important, and we're derailing. I believe you were attempting to ask me something before the distraction?" Goro demands. "I'm waiting."

Akira bows dramatically, getting down to his one knee. "Yes, yes, my demanding magnificent prince," Akira declares, then more softly he murmurs while looking up to meet Goro's own crimson eyes, "will you go out on a proper date with me, Akechi Goro?"

"Yes, I think I will keep _you_ ," he replies back bemusedly, and that's all Akira needs to hear before he grabs Goro by the ties and pulls him down to eye level, locking their lips tightly together.

* * *

**_Three months later_ **

* * *

**_antithesis_ **

**Akira** : Miss you

 **you** : You have 1400 pictures of me.

 **you** : And that's just the public collection.

 **Akira** : Yeah but that's I'm your number one fan I can't lose to your fangirls

 **Akira** : Consider If I'm famous you would also furiously collect pictures and goods of me

 **Akira** : You would have the 300 Jokorb and knit sweaters for them all the time

 **you** : Suppositions are pointless. You are not famous so all public picture there is of you is that one time when you got caught on camera accidentally while you were on that field trip.

 **Akira** : It's our three month anniversary and you still treat me this way ):

 **you** : I thought you liked me as I was, full saw sword and cutting edges?

 **Akira** : I do

 **Akira** : You are flawless

 **you** : Thank you. I am.

 **Akira** : smh... You are lucky I love you so much.

 **you** : I surely am.

 **you** : Sometimes when I wake up and you're lying next to me in that ridiculous bedhead, I have to pinch myself to remind myself that this is not a dream.

 **Akira** : GORO YOU CAn'T just Say things like that while being an asshole I dropped my phone

 **you** : I sure can. I make the rules. I am a lawyer.

 **Akira** : You're technically a cop

 **you** : Say that to my face bastard

 **Akira** : Oh no please forgive me

 **Akira** : My prince

 **you** : I see that your pet name area still has areas to improve in even after three months.

 **Akira** : Babe please

 **you** : Try again.

 **Akira** : Sweetcakes!!!

 **Akira** : Pancakes!!!

 **you** : Do you want to Die.

 **Akira** : Honey........

 **you** : Better.

 **you** : Ah. Interview time. be gay commit crime

 **Akira** : Always hard at work to impress my anti-government boyfriend!

 **you** : Don't get caught.

 **Akira** : I would never

* * *

He really detests TV appearances.

They're mandatory, considering he's the police department's face and this has been a part of the deal Goro made with Shujin, but all the _fake it till you make it_ aside, he really, really hates TV appearances. The media doesn't _really_ care about him, not past a superficial sense, and while they fawn over him, he _despises_ them as a collective group. After all, they are nothing but a disgusting, repulsive front for the corrupt government and the corporations that fed their agenda, a tool to keep the masses silent and ignorant by skewing the narrative to their favor. Everything that goes against his justice. They probably kill more people in a year than what Kaneshiro and his goon of blackmailers can do in their _lives_. Added with the fact that Goro does not enjoy spending precious hours faking who he is on the pedestal, he truly, truly detests these shows.

When his name is called, he pulls at his feet to drag himself onto the stage. The female MC immediately snaps her head up at his entrance, and he sees the sheer adoration she has for him, and flinches. He can see the fear in the male MC's eyes, and he smiles internally. Infatuation always throws him off his kilter, but fear is something he can work with, an instrument he is keen with playing.

The next few moments go as they are supposed to: Goro explains the progress of the Kaneshiro case on the level he can divulge, the audience watches with fascinated silence, the MC's rapture clearly fabricated. They don't care about this, but Goro knows it and he shoots out the facts quickly: how a criminal group has manipulated middle and high schoolers into doing their bidding, demanding money and other disgusting acts from mere students. The male MC asks the pre-plotted questions, all which Goro replies cordially to.

The written part soon blows over, and the improvised part, which Goro hates the _most_ , begins. "Let's stop asking the boring questions," the female MC interjects, smile honest for once, and Goro scowls visibly. _Boring questions_ , like they have no care about what he does to assist the police, about the lives he's saving by doing the work.

He cannot oversee such a statement. " _Boring questions_? Miss, I am an upholder of the law first and foremost, and I cannot have you talk about this case that way, with all the victims of this horrible incident," he snaps, and the audience roars.

"Kya! You're so cool, Akechi-kun!" The MC coos, and he rolls his eyes internally. Before he can interrupt her again, she asks quickly, "but we have to ask you a really important question before the time runs out!"

 _God, I hope time runs out_. He actually doesn't have work after this, only a slow day back in Leblanc in the company of his _lover_. The word, even after three months, makes his heart skip a beat and makes him giddy. Of course he doesn't let it show outside, keeping his expression flattened to a disapproving glare as he waves dismissively to the woman, "Go ahead."

"Of course. You probably got asked that but a hundred times, but," oh no, he has a feeling what that question is, "what type of girl is your type, Akechi-kun?"

He has been asked the question multitude of times, sometimes by fans, sometimes on television like this. Every single time he's been forced to swallow the truth—that he's gay—and derail the conversation elsewhere because he's been scared that talking about it would attract unwanted attention and even worse cause Akira to hate him. Yet he no longer has to worry about that, no longer needs to hide who he is because Akira and he are _dating_.

Holy shit.

"You're very bold to assume that I like women," Goro replies back serenely. "Considering my type of person is a boy."

The show is live, which means every single word he is saying is shown to the viewers, unedited and explicit. He isn't sure what about him made him trustworthy enough to be allowed on a live set, but he's sure enjoying the way both MC's instantly become sickly pale, with the audience whispering furiously among themselves.

The female MC quickly interjects, laughing it away awkwardly. "Haha, a tomboy type, Akechi-kun?" She continues her nonsense with a tight voice, eyes silently begging him to play along. "I see that you'd like someone who can mirror your own coldness, hmm?"

He's played along for so long. He's hidden himself for so long, and for what, because he's in love with the best person in his _life_? He's so sick of being dishonest to himself. "I mean a _boy,_ " he retorts frigidly, "I am saying I'm gay. Homosexual. Interested in the same sex."

Before the two MC's can come up with a reply to save this situation, the audience erupts in chaotic screaming, mixed positive and negative. One of the audience shouts, _I knew it!_ He gives a bright smile towards the source.

"I... I see..." The male MC fidgets on the spot, having given up attempting to salvage the situation. "Well, Akechi-kun, then, I think that's the time." It is _not_. They haven't even gone through half the improvised questions. "Thank you for your presence!"

The clapping transitions into the ending, and Goro turns on his constantly buzzing phone on the way out. Ignoring the oncoming calls and texts, he scrolls down until he notices Akira's familiar number.

**Akira** : You came out

 **Akira** : On live television

 **Akira** : You came out!!!

 **you** : Sorry I couldn't mention you. I don't want such unwanted attention at you too, and there's also the fact that you could be ashamed...

 **Akira** : I could never be ashamed of you

 **Akira** : I love you, Goro

 **Akira** : So you get over here so I can kiss you right on the lips.

It's a good day.

**FIN.**

**Author's Note:**

> twitter @tsunbrownie! :3


End file.
